Today I started my application to NYC Teaching Fellows. There are a few essays, and I know I will be perfectionistic about it, and it will be grueling, and I'm a bit wary.
Also, today, the 12 year old I babysit for was kind of obnoxious. His mom wants him to do these chores when he gets in, and for the first few weeks he was alright with it. Now, he comes home everyday and has this scowl on his face, and refuses to do things. I asked him today to take his lunch box out of his bag and he said," You do it. You're right next to it." I was all, " NO, I'm not your maid". He did it eventually, but it bothered me for awhile. I think I'm going to start to look for other things. It has been in the back of my mind - I like them and all, and I'm sure I can talk to his mom and she will be understanding and back off - but I just want more. SO MUCH MORE.
I was on my way home thinking of the exciting life people think we all live in NY, and how I should be out every night, meeting people who are dazzling, who will change my life. Usually, I'm pretty tired at the end of the day, and just want to read, and hang out with my cat. I don't think I'm the only one who feels that way either.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Hmmm..
My horoscope says I will meet a handsome and exotic stranger.
Maybe I will meet someone from the Bronx.
Maybe I will meet someone from the Bronx.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Stop That
I realized the other day that I avoid a lot of things that irritate me in life by taking refuge in a romantic fixation.
Today, for instance, waiting for the subway that was taking too long, I started to think about an ex. Now, this is a guy who I know is not perfect for me - but thinking of the moments that were promising, is preferable to sitting there bored or frustrated.
There are so many of these moments - the subway isnt running, or it is and it is too crowded, and someone elbows me and/or talks too loud (or there kid does, and they think it's charming, and I'm fuming). Sometimes I will even be in my apartment by myself and find myself interacting with him in my mind - and it's freaky to me.
I realized that my tendency to do this can be likened to having a really delicious chicken dinner and then for weeks, and months, holding on to the chicken bone. And realizing that I am responsible for getting that new thing. That I shouldn't judge myself into the ground, either. But that I should, you know, put it down.
Today, for instance, waiting for the subway that was taking too long, I started to think about an ex. Now, this is a guy who I know is not perfect for me - but thinking of the moments that were promising, is preferable to sitting there bored or frustrated.
There are so many of these moments - the subway isnt running, or it is and it is too crowded, and someone elbows me and/or talks too loud (or there kid does, and they think it's charming, and I'm fuming). Sometimes I will even be in my apartment by myself and find myself interacting with him in my mind - and it's freaky to me.
I realized that my tendency to do this can be likened to having a really delicious chicken dinner and then for weeks, and months, holding on to the chicken bone. And realizing that I am responsible for getting that new thing. That I shouldn't judge myself into the ground, either. But that I should, you know, put it down.
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