Abundance in the Universe

Much as I love New Age books, some of the terms get on my nerves

I have been researching the Internet for ideas about how to change my beliefs about money, so I've come across the usual suspects: - Abundance in the Universe! Channel it. (Can it).

What was useful, was that I discovered that I have a common problem: money shame.

I feel that it is shameful to want money, and that I am greedy for wanting it. I have fallen asleep to thoughts about how money could help me: I would go to the theater all the time, out to good restaurants, take trips, I would pay off all my debt, I would do is go to a spa for the whole day, and then shopping. (This reminds me of a quote I heard : "Neurotics build castles in the sky, psychotics live in them.")

I look around my apartment and have mixed feelings - sometimes I think: my cat is here, it's pretty, all I need are Christmas lights, candles, art, etc.. Other times, the lights are on, and I look at the carpet, the hallways (both dirty), and think no this is not enough. I live in a city where luxury is available, it's all around me, and I tell myself I'm satisfied, but I'm hiding from the truth: I have to take responsibility for my desire, and not feel bad about it, instead of wishing it would appear.

And I want to be taken care of, I know, though when my parents asked if I wanted them to buy me a condo here, I cried, " NO. Get AWAY from me!"

Sigh.

I know that I can do this though, and that there would have been a high price to pay for accepting their offer.

So back to this shame...I'm finding some interesting things in the book, " The Trick to Money is Having Some," (Stuart Wilde). He talks energy/New Age stuff, but also about how people buy into the idea that poverty is spiritual.

You can see his video, "Mastery of Money" here:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sOETCTKNiE