Anger

I don't know if it's winter in NYC or what - but last time this year I was REALLY angry about things, and here it is creeping up on me again.

There's 2 friends(?) I've been hanging out with who have been bothering me and 2 (previous) employers also who I had a falling out with - I think it's that I don't know how to communicate very well and am hyper-sensitive? Or is that the way I'm saying it so that it makes me feel that I'm special ? Many questions.

I feel out of touch with my writing. I talked on the phone with some guy from OK Cupid - I don't know...I had to pull more than my weight in the conversation, and that's annoying, and a deal breaker, unless he's REALLY good in bed. Also, he's a librarian who is older than me, so no high hopes there. He asked me to coffee next week and I said that I'd check back in but probably won't. It felt dishonest, and I hated myself for lying.

Then, there has been this cat who keeps coming into our building, desperately meowing. The other day the super (who I hate), broke a broom trying to smack him so that he'd leave. I stopped him and though, but he told me that the people upstairs had moved, and left the cat. Today, I find the cat trying to get in again, except there's this kid who seemed pretty slow outside as well. Turns out the cat is his sisters, and she has not actually moved, she just didn't want the cat inside anymore. What the hell is that? It's winter! Between their callousness, and my super's big lie I'm disgusted, and yet again I am facing this finance stuff, like WHY AM I HERE? Ugh, the HELL is wrong with people (and maybe me, too).