Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Something for My Future Self

I have been thinking about how life is delivering what I need when I need it.

Like this: the other night I was desperate for comfort and inspiration, so I searched my old journals to find a spell for a new lover so I could finally shake off the ghost of an old one. I found my journal from about 15 years ago and it had the spell and also a dream I had given a title. It's edited for clarity:

                                                     " The Gift"

    A true romantic lives forever in the present. A history teacher they are worried about lives in the past, but teachers of the past should live to teach. A bright young teacher figures out that this is bad news. Why? Because one should always be treading new territory. Knowing when to let go. Forever. It is true intelligence. I realize that. Although I am smart, I must make up for lost time

A man comes over. He has a new BMW bike. It is green. He rides it over to dads to see me. Mom is on her way out. She has a toothache. I marry him, but he disappears and we get it annulled .

Old lovers say good bye at the proper time. Time pulls them forward. "Old soul" writes one to her lover, "it is time for me to move on."

I realize I have so much to make up for in life; having been desperately anchored to the past, I have relentlessly stood still.

People; there are so many! I must meet them, conquer them. Be proud. Standing tall at the helm of my ship.

Onward.

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