Uncomfortable and Unhappy

I woke up early today; my sister called me and asked to meet. I had to work, so I let her know I couldn't. 

Next I went to babysit -  for a mom who has a son with a disability, and a newborn. I asked her about specific instructions for an emergency, as last time she came in and asked casually, " Did he have a seizure?"
( I'd had no idea he had health issues.)

She told me that she would be gone for 4 hours, and turned up after an hour and a half. She said: " I'll still pay you 30", (which is my rate for 1.5 hours... thanks). I let her know that wouldn't be acceptable. Never done this before. It worked - I got $50. It didn't feel great standing up for myself, but now it feels nice. She had been underpaying me before, and when the baby came along, I let her know that my rate went up -- she said, " You charge more for 2 kids?"

Whatever. I am not looking forward to seeing my mom tomorrow, who wants closeness without honesty. We still haven't talked about our argument over the summer, so I will try for a nice/polite meeting.

The Teaching Fellows interview went pretty well, but I feel I did not get it. Almost 90% sure.There was a moment in the one on one interview where I felt like I was being seriously considered; and then, later, I answered a question, and intuitively sensed that it was not what she wanted to hear, and felt her wriggling off my hook.

I'm not sure if I want it - but I pretty much feel like I gave it my best. It has been in my life for some time now, and I am glad to be done with it.

I went to the book store today and sat in the spirituality section and opened book after book looking for a job spell. Specifically, looking for one I had found years ago; it seemed promising, and I said it quietly in the bookstore - I still remember the feeling when I did - a strange psychic pull, like how I feel when I am using a good set of tarot cards.I received out of the blue calls about jobs shortly after. Did I write this spell down? No. Why? I don't know. I'm a more organized person I am now. I probably thought, " I'll get it later," and that was years ago.