So, I just realized something important - I have been wanting to read this book " Between Me and Life" for a long time - It's about the artist Romaine Brooks and her relationship with her abusive mother. I was thinking about it again the other day and wondering how it is she felt that her mother affected her relationship with the world, and I'm pretty sure that I had just had therapy, so I was thinking about my own mother issues. I realized that I am afraid to make plans because I always think about how people say that if you make plans, God steps in and takes you in a completely different direction, and so I have been afraid.
Meanwhile, it occurred to me that this "God" is actually my mother, and that I am afraid of defying her, MAYBE, and that my lack of plans and goals, which so severely holds me back (no LITERALLY holds me back,) might be healed with a little left brain activity (GOALS! DEADLINES!ASPIRATIONS!) I could do really well. This part is very true.
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