I have to be more honest. Sometimes I pretend to like people I hate, and lately, I find myself using exclamation points and smiley faces whereas before I would never. I looked down on them and the people who used them, secretly holding it against them if we were friends, or never letting them in.
It's more. I feel out of touch with myself, the more I am around other people. I can't stand that I was so nice to that girl A (the questionable friend), from my previous post, hurling compliments at her when in retrospect, I wish they were insults. Or bullets. I hate myself when I'm not immaculately true to myself.
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