Woke up completely unhappy, still anxious about yesterday's conversation with my landlord. Still beating myself up about having spoken to him, when nothing but problems seem to come from doing so.
I went to work - taking care of 2 girls in Park Slope, that utopia for children.Their mother had gone to a food co-op meeting, as there was an important vote. I took them to their dance class. Other days it is violin lessons, Chinese class or Hebrew school.
The older daughter kind of bothers me - I came into their house, and didn't take my shoes off. She kind of has a lisp, and she glared at me and let me know that theirs is a "no thew household."
I am not bitter. In fact, taking care of the younger girl really put me in a better frame of mind. I was suddenly happy, content, wondering why I was worried about things; I was very present. I felt this calm come over me. It was a gentle way to spend an afternoon. I waited for them in the dance class lobby... creativity, children. Nice.
Later went to a meeting, and to dinner with a friend.
I have steadily been building my meditation practice - every morning and evening. So far just moments of peace that I wish wouldn't end.
I am reading a book about meditation called, "Turning Your Mind into an Ally", (instead of a critical voice that sounds faintly like your mother.)
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