Another Day. Some Growth. Some Sarcasm

A weird start this morning. I'd overslept, so was in a funky head space, and then later napped. I was tired because I have a cold, and also probably to avoid things as usual.

My apartment is a mess, and I didn't work hard to fix it like I usually do - I went to a (weird) job interview. My therapist says that I "hobble" myself by under earning, and I don't like to admit it but all the bullshit I do in place of making cash at a legit job do seem to tie me up, distract me from fixing the actual lack of funds problem, and are definitely lame and exhausting.

After the interview, I went to Sephora, because I am superficial and obsessed with my appearance, I suppose. Then I went to an AA meeting, and then a bunch of us went to dinner, where I saw a frenemy (A), and there was some fanning of flames (from me), and afterwards, outside, some smoothing over (from both parties).

A girl (B), who I have tried to be supportive of, because she is new, acts strangely around me. I think she thinks I am attracted to her, when really when I am looking at her it is because I am wondering how someone who reminds me of one of Marge Simpson's sisters can be so deluded in terms of her looks and seemingly has convinced others she is hot as well. I mean I guess I can see it, but there is a lot of flaunting of her admittedly good-looking figure, so whatever - who knows who is projecting what? and LOOK, I'm being mean again.

What else...I had a good time but found myself trying too hard to in an effort to control it all, and it feels good to recognize that and let go. A little.