I am finding it strange to observe how relentlessly angry at people I am - the same people.
Everytime I move forward in a positive direction, it seems like I first pick up old arguments -- fuck you!! It's like a psychic chew toy.
Which, maybe it makes sense, now that I write it. I'm moving past them.
I am angry at my mom and sister - both of them seem to think that I should accept/tolerate their abuse and apologies and maintain closeness with them. They are always like "I'm SORRY!!" (Now Come Back Here. We're cool right? Apology accepted. Repeat cycle.)
I can't create and have a good life when I give them top priority in my heart and life.
I have to go to work.
New family - Iranian. Popped up out of nowhere. Just started in Park Slope. Which I usually hate. Then when I was there I got it. The beautiful neighborhood, the co-op (that life changing co-op).
The family is typically Iranian - in each others lives and faces all the time to take care of the new baby (twins).
It's nice and very sweet, I guess, if it is healthy and positive without a connection that is as deeply rooted and gnarled like an old tree. A big fat oak.
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