Trying to Stay Postive

I hate being light on cash. It makes me really nervous and everything focuses around that.

Here are some good things -

My roommate is out of town. She wrote me a note saying that she would be gone for the week. I kept it, so that if I was ever down, I could just look at it.

My computer is working.

I got a job for an ESL company that actually seems legitimate. Maybe. I got the call out of nowhere and when I went in, a shady lady reviewed my resume and said: "Lucky you. You just sent your resume in and they told you to contact me? We have a class that starts on Monday, it's 4 hrs a day."

I'm nervous about them, though, because it is a contract position and I wont get paid for a month. So meanwhile I am thinking about jobs, cash. etc..

I woke up this morning and observed myself: obsessing about some guy who is not in my life. Worrying about my new haircut. I feel afraid - alone - and I know I'm distracting myself and avoiding things.