The Latest Bullshit/Reminiscing

The latest bullshit is this - how to start?

Brief is good. I am so angry at everyone and trying to focus on what is right which means getting my money right - what a trial. I cannot do it with these people on/around me.

Its not just my roommate. I have a landlord - D - who I got in touch with - through my roommate, who saved me just in time. her name was S

I let her know, before meeting with her landlord that I didn't have money ( I don't now) but that I could honestly pay her rent that she asked. We went to meet with him and he was like - no, no. I don't know. I looked up and asked godd, please if this is right for me, let it happen. And what happened is this:

She said - D- I have 600 dollars for you - will that do it? And he said O.K. - we got a lease -
Later I asked her - what happened? and she said - I don't know, I looked up at the sky - and the sun came out.

So we moved in together. Didn't really get along - it was O.K.  but.. just. I was running around doing my job, she was living in the living room/bedroom - and I walked through everytime to the kitchen - Frequently.

It was weird - we got along - I don't know what her deal was, but in the evening I drank - she said she didn't drink or smoke, but I dont know. what I do know is this:

One day - soon after I moved in - she went to a shitty job and never came back -

I was glad she was out -

And later - I stepped out and saw an accident - all these people - and asked, didn't find out, and came back to the apartment to drink. Later, I found out through her friends, that she had ridden her bike - in the rain - in the street - to go to hand out flyers -  She had gotten hit by a truck - and a spectacle surrounded her - a woman saying - cover her underpants! A friend saying - you stupid bitch, that doesn't matter. She wasn't really conscious, she was blinking - she was hit in her gut- and was taken to the emergency room -

I found this out later - through my upstairs neighbor. (W) I knocked on his door - and called him -
He and his partner showed up at my door - I said she died - W said - I thought so, we didn't know what to do, they said she would be OK, we went out to brunch. His partner - sobbed - horribly.

My landlord came by and said - is this true? is this true? and cried. We all did.