Looking for More Right Work

I am looking for more babysitting jobs, teaching jobs, maybe even catering, but I do that already.  It can be hateful, but it totally motivates me to do more with my life, (and feeds me well).

I will not do housework while babysitting. I've done it before, and felt like the maid. I will not be paid poorly, I've done that before and it was bullshit. Hopefully writing this will help me stick with it.

I had an embarrassing incident recently at an interview. I came in and the mother was like" Yeah, take off your shoes, please." (High maintenance tip-off), so, I did. I had on these awful shoes my old roommate gave me. They are hard to unlace, so I tend to try and kick them off, which has made them worse, because now the soles are loose. She was watching and waiting, so once again, I kicked them off, and made them fall apart even more. I looked down at her feet and she had those pedicure flip flops on, and schnazzy dragon- red toe nails.

Anyway, I go in and they are these really nice interesting people, with a cute kid. I was gazing around liking what I saw: interesting art, furniture, and the apartment was light, spacious. Way up in Harlem, in kind of a dodgy area, but still. I told them about myself  and watched the wife's reaction to me - I sensed jealousy. So I tried to connect with the husband. He was hot - a musician who tours a lot, German. I looked down. He had his (red) shoes on. So I'm back to the wife, because I wasn't sure if I could talk to him without flirting. Anyway, I'm thinking - why is she jealous of me? Maybe because I was talking about some work I'd done in publishing? The grass is always greener... (I guess).

They had a copy of the Cheap Bastards Guide to New York. I joked that I had read it in a bookstore so that it was, The Cheap, Cheap Bastards Guide to New York.We chatted about that, and they seemed like the type of people who I would be friends with, which made meeting them  under the circumstances a bit awkward for me. The husband eventually went to tune his guitar, and I was left to discuss finances with the wife.

I explained that paying for transportation out of my own pocked would mean I would be paid $7 and hour, so I preferred $15 hr, not $12. She did not look interested or convinced. She explained somewhere in there that they would be out of town for 2 months in the summer. I had a feeling that I probably wouldn't get it due to my asking for more money. However, she did ask me to stay take care of her daughter for an hour, which I did.

Towards the end of the hour and then she came out and was like... blah blah blah, we'll let you know, but I knew I didn't get it. She walked me to the door, and I kind of wanted to make a swift and graceful exit, but my shoes refused to cooperate. I struggled while she watched me - she said " oh the broken shoes," and I attempted to be glib and dignified while struggling to get in to my shoes and away from the job I didn't get.

I finally made it out of there. I rode the long subway home, feeling like complete shit. I pulled myself out of it, tried to think straight -  Note to self: wear better shoes to interviews. And: these people are selfish, they guard their own bottom line, and I need to as well without the guilt.

So, onward. I am trying to get work in business ESL and have an interview to prepare for... I want to try to focus on that instead.