Good/Bad Today

Bullshit I've encountered along the way/day -

I dont want to write about it but I will - I went to work today - Yay me. I've been buffered by big deal therapy session yesterday.

So I wake up and encounter bullshit resistance - or not? I'm tired, I've made it through and now I'm thinking I've got a super huge list of tasks to do. A beer... maybe? So I gave in. Accomplished some stuff, fell into other stupid familar stuff along the way. (Maybe that guy wasn't so bad? Let me take my mind off this.. ) And so on.

So I did get stuff done. Even got back to the Dad (B) who could provide babysitting/special ed reference - Stopped into a reading after work - that was good/not. Later will explain.

Whatever. So I'm worried about some things with the mom I babysit for (especially after the last mom wife of above- what a nightmare she was, the shit I put up with.  Everyday - the communication book, the homework, the dishes, the shoes out in the hallway, but don't turn the light on, ... blah blah blah. I tried, I tried, I tried).

So when this new woman (D) gets in touch and says - there's ink on my floor! What happened??? I'm thinking: Oh, shit, here we go again.

It all worries me - I'm an anxious pleaser/perfectionist - I don't draw the line.. or something.

I feel stupid. She asked me to do what I'm best at: read, interact with her son and I was like YES!

She says: GREAT. put his hearing device on IN THE BATHROOM and then let him out. I tried, he splashes water everywhere, I don't want to man handle him, so I move him, trying to cooperate with him to get my way... out he goes and blah.

Anyway, she comes home and there's a piece of his hearing device missing - small - could've come off anywhere and she's like "WHERE?WHERE? And I'm like - he was throwing water at me - I looked around and - found it.

I want to treat myself fairly first ( a bit new - I know where it lives, but I don't live there).

I get your mistrust - but.. I'm worried. How much can I trust you -- I didn't even know about the ridiculousness of this hundred thousand dollar thing. For REAL??

I"m making too much of this -- more later